


You Don't Ever Have To Sleep Alone

by silverknees



Series: Stucky Bingo 2019 [5]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Modern Era, Oblivious Bucky Barnes, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Post-War, Pre-War, Stucky - Freeform, Stucky Bingo 2019, bed sharing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 15:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19406335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverknees/pseuds/silverknees
Summary: Bucky and Steve have always had issues surrounding sharing a bed.It only takes an enlistment, a war, two "deaths" and moving into Stark Tower for them to finally confront them.for the "Stark Tower" square on my Stucky Bingo card.





	You Don't Ever Have To Sleep Alone

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbeta-ed, so any and all mistakes are mine.
> 
> title is from the Waterparks song "Sleep Alone"

**I**

Steve and Bucky always shared a bed. They always had. It had started when they were kids, staying at each other’s’ houses, crammed into a twin bed and cracking jokes. When they moved in together, the only bought one bed; it was cheaper, and they didn’t mind sharing. Even when Steve was shaking with fever, or hacking his lungs out from pneumonia, Bucky’s warm weight was behind him, his callused hands stroking gently through his hair or patting his back.

Sometimes, though, they didn’t.

The first time Bucky went to a fairy bar, got his dick sucked by a blonde man in a dirty alley and came down his throat with Steve’s name on his lips, they didn’t.

Bucky had walked in, shortly after midnight, to Steve sitting up in bed, sketching a mug with their sheets pulled around him. He’d sprinted to the bathroom, dry-heaving and barely keeping down sobs, the guilt and shame threatening to overwhelm him. When Steve appeared in the doorframe, pale face creased with worry, Bucky had pretended to be drunk. He’d stayed there, crouched over the toilet, until he heard Steve’s laboured breathing even out. Then he’d grabbed his pillow, tucked the sheets in around Steve, and lain on the floor, awake, until the morning.

That was the first time.

It started happening more, after that. Bucky would go out, find some fairy who bore a passing resemblance to Steve, and return wracked with self-loathing. Steve was always awake when he got back.

They never spoke about it, the nights when Bucky came back late and slept on the floor.

They especially didn’t speak about the nights he didn’t come home at all.

Steve was different in the mornings, on those nights. His eyes would be hollow, his smile plastered on and cracking at the edges.

Bucky pretended he didn’t see.

When they did still sleep together, when it was cold or Steve was sick, they didn’t touch anymore. No more hands in Steve’s hair, comforting arms around his middle, forehead pressed to the crook of his neck. It was like an invisible, impenetrable barrier had been put up between the two of them.

They still didn’t talk about it.

The night Bucky enlisted, he didn’t come home.

He staggered in the door the next morning, limping, with bruises all down his neck. Steve sat at the kitchen table, eyes hard, as Bucky pushed his enlistment form towards him and stumbled to their bed, burying himself in sheets that smelled like Steve. Steve left for work a few minutes later, the silence unbroken, and Bucky finally let himself cry.

He left the next week.

They still hadn’t talked about it.

**II**

When Steve – no, when _Captain America_ rescued Bucky from Zola’s labs, they tiptoed around each other.

Bucky was shaken, harrowed by his experiences, and Steve… Steve had changed.

The first week, they slept in separate tents, and they’d wake up in from their respective nightmares in a cold sweat, blindly reaching out into empty space, alone.

The breaking point came when Bucky collapsed.

They were doing some basic drills, running, push-ups, nothing Bucky would normally have batted an eyelid at, but when he stood up to begin another exercise, the whole world spun.

Bucky could only see green, brown, the pale pink of flesh, then blue, blue.

When he woke up, he wasn’t in his own tent. Steve was sat beside him, legs crossed, sketching on the back of a telegram.

Bucky slept in Steve’s tent from then on, and when he woke up from his nightmares there were warm arms around him, Steve’s comforting voice in his ear.

The first time Bucky woke up with morning wood, Steve laughed into his hair, trailing his hand down to take Bucky apart, because _what’re friends for, pal?_

It happened a few times a week, after that, where they’d end up with their foreheads pressed together, stroking each other to the brink with no sound other than their harsh breathing.

Bucky always felt this pull, to bridge the tiny gap between them and kiss Steve senseless, but something always held him back. If this was all he’d ever get, it was all he’d ever want.

They still didn’t talk about it.

**III**

When Steve came out of the ice, he slept alone. His place in Stark tower was huge, his bedroom alone bigger than his own apartment.

Soft sheets swamped him, and the mattress was the bounciest thing he’d ever felt, but there was something missing.

“JARVIS?” he stared at the ceiling, the blinking light of his alarm clock showing an early hour of the morning.

_Yes, Captain Rogers?_

“Do you… do you have any resources on insomnia?” Steve ran a hand through his hair, the small movement taking far too much strength.

_Yes, Sir. Mr. Stark suffers from the same problem, and I have compiled much information. I will transfer it to your StarkPad momentarily._

Steve read hundreds of pages, poring over strategies and remedies.

Nothing helped.

The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, moved into the tower in July. His quarters were directly above Steve’s, and his relentless pacing echoed into Steve’s bedroom every night.

“JARVIS, how much does the Winter Soldier sleep?” Steve asked one night, the footsteps above him silent for the first time in days.

_“Mr. Barnes sleeps an average of seventy-three minutes a night, Sir.”_

“Fuck.”

They’d barely talked since Bucky had moved in, and Steve knew his memories were still coming back. He didn’t want to push, to startle him, but his chest ached every time he heard the pacing start up.

Steve had access to all the living quarters in the tower barring Natasha’s, and he took the elevator up to Bucky’s floor, bracing himself for a rebuffal, or worse, a lack of recognition. He got neither of those, however, as when he stepped out of the elevator he caught sight of Bucky immediately.

The soldier was cocooned in blankets, curled up on his sofa, his eyes open but unseeing. Steve slowly moved towards him, kneeling before his prone form in silence for a few moments.

“Steve?” his voice was quiet, hoarse, but it was undeniably _him._

“Hi, Buck,” Steve responded, matching the other man’s volume so as not to startle him. “what’s up, bud?”

“’can’ sleep,” he mumbled, pulling his blankets tighter around him. Steve’s chest felt tight, a surge of affection making him reach out and place a hand on Bucky’s cheek. He immediately tensed at his own lapse in judgement, expecting to be pushed off, or ignored at best, but Bucky nuzzled into his palm, leaning towards the contact.

They stayed like that for a moment, Steve’s skin feeling electric where it touched Bucky’s, before Bucky spoke again.

“Will you… stay with me? To sleep?” he asked, flinching even as he asked, as if he was expecting Steve to instantly reject him.

“’f course, Buck,” Steve whispered. “I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

When they were lying in bed together, Bucky wrapped in Steve’s arms, their legs tangled together, Bucky looked up at Steve.

“’suppose we’ve got a lot to talk about, huh?”

And they did.

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on [tumblr](http://professorxxxavier.tumblr.com/)!


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